There's not much to say about this movie other than yes, it's indeed a movie. Barely, but it is. This is what you get when artistic autofellatio and the perfect absence of content wants to make the viewer believe that it is more than itself. Aliens who have had no contact with humanity aside of Voyager's golden record, even they could make more lifelike characters than these outlandish cardboard figures. Honestly, it feels like a buggy theatrical AI scissored them together. The Girl and the Spider is a triumph of nonsensical filmmaking, which proves (to someone, somewhere... not me, mind you) that logic, a coherent plot and faithfulness to life are only a loose suggestion rather than an expectation. Is it a feature, or the lack of it? You decide. I, however, I'm going to dance a little on the roof in the rain. Because reasons. Because art.

The premise said it was "a tragicomic catastrophe film, a poetic ballad about change and transience." While sounds interesting, The Girl and the Spider were barely that poetic nor really tragicomic.

There are constant actions that happened throughout the film yet nothing significantly happens as well. There are tons of films with banality or trivialism as the plot, but mostly they were also keen on conveying something. The same case cannot be applied to this film.

It was exciting at first and then it got redundant and eventually simply became annoying.

"We will show you some silly things, and as the audiences you must understand what do we mean, because this is high-art" type of film making must have gone to the trash of the cinema history.

This is not "telling something", tell us what you want to tell directly.