What in the name of God did I just witness? For anyone who is wondering if they should watch this movie (all 2 of you), leave it on the shelf unless you are planning on becoming a makeup artist. Let me explain. The story goes like this: Some evil woman is in this battle with some evil guy. Why? I don't know. This battle involves mutants/cyborgs. Why? I don't know. A foursome of heroes meet up with each other in hopes to disband the evil mutant army. Why? I don't know. They fight the mutants who seems to keep coming back to life and murdering civilians. Why? I don't know!!!

So here's the scoop: Either I'm an idiot who just didn't pay attention to this movie or this movie has absolutely no plot. This film is nothing more than a string of events strung together with cheesy music that sounds like something out of a homemade porno film and sound effects so bad, that they sound as if they were generated by someone slapping their hand against their knee and breaking some eggs on the kitchen floor.

The only saving grace of this film is the gore and makeup. This horrible picture really shows what the 80's horror genre was capable of when it comes to the blood factor. Some great stuff in here that still leaves me in shock of how it was pulled off, especially the mutant that helps the good guy; some great scenes with him. But otherwise, why bother with this crappy flick? The movie itself gets a 0 out of 10, but because of the gore and good f/x I'm giving it an overall 2/10.

Rough'n'tumble mercenary Matt Riker (woodenly played by the hunky Rick Gianasi) and his tough mutant-stomping buddies Johnny Felix (Ron Reynaldi rocking one hell of a wicked mullet) and Elaine Eliot (ravishing redhead Taunie Vernon) venture into the dangerous dark tunnels to find the secret lab of the dastardly Z (a nicely slimy portrayal by Bill Peterson), who's responsible for unleashing a race of lethal cyborgs that are terrorizing the city.

Boy, does writer/director Tim Kincaid cover all the endearingly atrocious mondo stinko schlock cinema bases with often unintentionally uproarious results: We've got crummy acting from a lame no-name cast (Stormy Spill in particular really camps it up as Z's evil and treacherous ex-partner Domina), erratic pacing, a mechanically bouncy and redundant synthesizer score, garish cinematography, tin-eared dialogue ("Time to rock'n'roll"), ineptly staged fights, an utterly ridiculous plot, and tacky (not so) special effects (although the gooey cyborg make-up ain't half bad and the cyborg puppet is pretty impressive considering the paltry budget). Kincaid regular LeeAnn Baker pops up in a small part as an ill-fated pleasure droid. A hilariously horrendous hoot and a half.

Some claim this is a BLADE RUNNER ripoff but I know the truth. In the distant future, failed filmmaker Ridley Scott built a time machine and decided to go back in time to film MUTANT HUNT, what many in this future consider the greatest film of all-time, before it is actually made. His plan worked and BLADE RUNNER hit in 82 while MUTANT HUNT's legacy was muted because it was seen a ripoff.

Seriously, what can one say about this classic? It is indicative of a cinematic time long gone, the era of cheapo sci-fi flicks shot in abandoned warehouses (the future!) on a 5-day shooting schedule (see also: Ray, Fred Olen). I'm glad to know that in the future cyborgs will be modeled after the band Devo. Tim Kincaid directs this as flatly as possible. I love the fight in Riker's apartment where the girls just sit and stand there. I also love the bit where the robot begins to severe its left hand. When the filmmakers cut to the hand hanging in the cuff, it is a right hand! And who can ever forget the couple making out in the alley? Awesome. To the film's credit, Ed French's cyborg puppet head is pretty impressive and actually emotes better than 3/4 of the cast. After watching this 75 minute insanity fest, the only natural thing to ask is, "What Kincaid film should I watch next?"